


Country Roads

by catthedoodlecatcher



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Childhood Friends, Country Roads, Disaster Gays, England (Country), F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Let's go lesbians!, Love, Platonic Hand Holding, Questioning, Romantic Fluff, They are so in love, Useless Lesbians, but it's not really platonic lmao, but she doesn't think she's oblivious, oblivious catra, they are in lesbians with each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24372229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catthedoodlecatcher/pseuds/catthedoodlecatcher
Summary: Catra and Adora are self-proclaimed best friends, always have been and always will be. But sometimes Catra wonders if they really are that, or whether they're something more.-Holding your best friend's hand and stroking it with your thumb while staring into her eyes and sharing one (very small) swing seat is totally platonic. Right? Right?
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s), catradora - Relationship
Comments: 24
Kudos: 271





	Country Roads

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I had this idea of exploring a kind of simpler version of Catra and Adora's relationship throughout secondary school (which if you're not from the UK is school ages 11-16 and continues until you're 18 if you go to Sixth Form) and it got really out of hand real fast. 
> 
> This is tooth rotting fluff and they're just very gay for each other and it follows Catra as she grows up from 12-18 but it's just a big ass one shot. I really hope you enjoy reading this, I spent three whole days writing it and I wanted to put it somewhere, so! 
> 
> Enjoy x

TWELVE

Catra doesn’t mind her new neighborhood, even if she personally longs to live in a city someday.

The countryside town is mild, tame and placid. Her little block of houses are each spread apart from each other, making the place feel tiny and reserved despite it not really being that small. There are plenty of huge trees in sight, pretty as heck in spring with their pink blossom and there’s a park only a two-minute walk from Catra’s own house, which she supposes she likes quite a lot. She hasn’t met any new kids yet. School doesn’t start for another few weeks and she’ll have to take the bus to get into the city (she doesn’t own a bike but god does she want one). She supposes that t’s a good time for her newly moved family to settle into the place before everything really kicks in.

_Family_ she thinks _is something I never thought I’d say._

It doesn’t bother her that much, not having any friends. Or at least, it doesn’t bother her as much as she supposes it should. She’s always been a little bit shy and scrawny. A little bit behind the other kids. A little bit untamable and emotional and unexplainably different. She had a friend in nursery (what was her name? Jenny? Amy?) but they went to different primary schools.

Her foster father’s are nice. Her foster brother, Bow, is nice. They’re her friends, and that’s all she needs. The meals she is fed, the clothes she is given and the school she’s enrolled in are all…nice. It’s the first time in her life she’s felt a sense of rhythm and normality. ‘Secondary school is where most kids find their feet. You’ll make friends kitty, I know you will’ she could hear Lance and George saying.

Bow had friends and let Catra hang around with them. They were okay, she supposed, but they weren’t really _her_ friends. And the stuff they did together? Catra’s no snob, but hanging around in the nearest city’s shops for hours on end and looking at video games wasn’t her thing. She wanted to do more…sporadic things, like race people places and roll down hills and climb trees. Bow was so openhearted and outgoing, and she loved him, but they were different. She guesses being two years older makes you more into that stuff. Despite their differences, however, Catra was grateful for him and his kindness.

Sitting on the swing set in the early spring evening, she closes her eyes and breathes in, smelling the fresh air and letting a small smile win over her face. Secondary school, she thinks, is where she’ll try her hardest to fit in just a little better. She hears footsteps approaching. She assumes its Bow.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you before!”

Catra opens her eyes. She hasn’t seen this girl either; she’s definitely not Bow. She’s short and blonde, hair slicked into a tight ponytail with a tiny poof in the front. Her eyes sparkle radiantly. Catra notices they are bright ocean blue.

“Your eyes are like, two different colors!” Catra touches her face self-consciously. Her heterochromatic eyes had always been a source of insecurity.

“Yeah, and yours are just one”.

Catra kicks the ground underneath her swing nervously. She’s never been great at talking to other kids. She finds them too upbeat and loud. She hears the girl giggle and when she does a little snort escapes her nose. _Cute._

“I’m Adora”, she says, taking the swing next to Catra and kicking off the ground, “who are you?”

“Catra”.

“You live here?”

“Yeah, on the street over.” She swallows. “Do you live here too?”

“Yeah, my house is so close to this park I can walk here when I want. Angella lets me because she knows I’ll do it anyway”.

“Is she your sister?”

Adora shakes her head, a lock of blonde hair escaping its’ ponytail. “No, she’s my foster mum.”

Catra’s interest perks up. “You’re fostered?”

That was the wrong thing to say. Adora looks a little down casted. “Yeah”, she mutters indignantly, “but you don’t have to say it like that”.

“No! No I mean…I am too”. _Nice save._

“You are? That’s the biggest coincidence, like, ever” Her blue eyes are shining. Catra can’t do anything but nod.

But as Adora asks her questions about her childhood, they trade stories of various foster homes and Catra makes a few (albeit timid) jokes she feels a desire to be around this girl more. Adora, her name is Adora. Catra likes the way she says things. Her voice is soft and dreamy, like a lullaby. She smells like lavender.

“I guess I just kind of gave up on thinking anyone would want to adopt me and then…Lance and George happened to come along”. Adora nods, listening intently. Catra smiles. She feels a little vulnerable, because the conversation is far more personal than she’s used to, but it also feels good. Adora seems to understand, something the other kids never really did.

Adora senses it’s her turn to speak. “Angella adopted me when I was three so I was pretty lucky. She’s really nice and her daughter Glimmer is like my best friend and she’s two whole years older which makes her wise and stuff. But I guess family doesn’t count as friends really”. Catra blinks. They didn’t?

“We should be friends then”.

The blonde girl does nothing but grin. “I think we already are”. And then she’s on the move, kicking her feet into the ground and pushing the swing into the air. Catra follows suit not long after, and soon they’re flying up high and laughing about absolutely nothing.

-

Adora waits for her at the bus stop. They gave each other their house numbers (they live two streets away from each other, turns out) and she had come round especially to ask for Catra to meet her. They’d hung out a lot in the past week, sitting on those same swings and talking about absolutely everything. Catra knows Adora’s favorite show is Pokémon (“but don’t tell anyone because it’s sort of lame, y’know?”), she loves horses, thinks about being a travel writer when she’s older and likes listening to Ed Sheeran when she’s falling asleep.

Standing by the sign, she’s all prim and proper in her uniform: blazer on, shirt tucked in and skirt no more than two inches above the knee. Catra feels a little like a ruffian with her blazer shoved into her bag and shirt aggressively not tucked in. Her skirt is also much shorter than the rulebook allows for, but she’s a sucker for breaking minor rules.

As she approaches, Adora spots her and grins.

“Morning!”

“Hey, Adora”.

Excitedly, the blonde starts to rummage around in her backpack.

“Have you lost something?”

“Nu-uh. I have something for you”.

Finding the mysterious item, Adora pulls it out and proudly produces two hand-made key rings. They’re matching in color and size, and are made out of what Catra assumes are hammer beads. One is a horse and one is a cat. “I made one for you. You can put it on your backpack zip if you want”. She hands it over, but suddenly looks a little shy. “You can throw it away, but since you’re name’s _Cat_ ra I just thought-“

“I like it”.

She looks up, blue eyes shining with excitement. “You do?” Her purity almost blinds Catra, who giggles shyly. “Yeah, it’s cute. I’m not a key ring person but.”

“You really don’t have to like it”

“”Don’t be dumb, I like it and I’m keeping it”. Carefully, Catra slides the hammer-beaded cat onto her rucksack zipper. Adora beams, and Catra feels her heart pulsing.

They share their headphones on the school bus, and Catra vaguely notices that Adora sits all up in her personal space, and that (weirdly) she doesn’t mind at all.

-

“Race you to Forge!”

“You can’t do that, you always cheat!”

“Guys, wait up!”

Catra, Adora and Glimmer race through the neighborhood streets, school bags rattling and joyous screams echoing into the warm spring breeze. It’s a Friday evening and Angella has promised them ice cream if they all do their homework by the end of tonight. But as Catra races Adora and Glimmer to the quarry dump at the end of her road, she forgets about the promise of food.

She finally feels free from the worry that’s she somehow different to everyone around her. Adora seems to like her just for who she is. Even her sister, Glimmer, seems to like her. And god does it feel good to just be able to race her friends when she feels like it and hang out at Adora’s and do nothing but talk. They’ve been friends for a month, and Catra already feels like it’s been a year.

Coming to a halt outside the ‘Forge’ entrance sign, she keels over and pants, attempting to get her breath back. Adora joins her not long after, her face flushed with red from exertion. Her blue eyes are accentuated particularly well under the evening skylight. Not that Catra notices it that much.

Glimmer is last to arrive. “Guys, you can’t just run off like that you’re both _faster_ than me!”

Catra giggles. “Get faster then, Sparkles”. Glimmer pouts. Adora rolls her eyes at Catra but smiles despite herself. And then Catra remembers something important.

“Since I’ve met you, Glimmer, do you guys want to meet Bow? I think you’d like him”.

Adora and Glimmer grin simultaneously. Even for adoptive sisters, they’re alike in so many ways. Catra would never admit it out loud, but she secretly thought Adora was a lot prettier. That was the biggest difference she could see. But that was a dumb and unfair thought only she needed to know about. She couldn’t quite place her finger on what made her so…fixated…on Adora.

Catra whips out her phone and texts Bow. “He’s home, let’s go”.

-

Bow greets them at the door in his usual cropped white shirt and cuffed jeans. Having two dads meant neither Catra nor Bow were bothered with ‘gendered’ clothes and Catra was especially proud of her brother’s love for crop tops (she even sewed him a few herself when she was new to the family. She wanted to win him over, okay?).

Adora and Glimmer seem entranced by the house as they traipse through the hallway. It’s big and light: white walls and wooden accents make it feel breezy and cozy all at once, and the floors are polished and shiny. When they pass the mirror, gold-rimmed around the edge, Catra catches a glance of her and Adora side by side. It makes her smile.

As George and Lance serve them tea and biscuits, Glimmer starts drilling Bow.

“Do you go to our school?”

“Yeah, I’m in year ten though”

“Same! Do you play sports?”

“Does archery count as sport?”

Glimmer blinks, and she looks pleasantly surprised. “Totally! What kind of music do you like? What’s your favorite thing about Catra? Do you wanna come eat ice cream with us later?”

Catra snorts as Bow starts to look more and more overwhelmed. He does his typical ‘Bow being overwhelmed’ thing where he rubs the back of his head. “Sure”.

Catra and Adora exchange amused glances. Adora leans forward over the kitchen table. “We should form”, she lowers her voice, “a _squad_ ”.

Bow, Glimmer and Catra burst into giggles. Catra nudges Adora’s foot under the table and earns herself a side wink.

Bow leans in too, looking equally dorky. “How about the best friends squad?”

Glimmer grins. “I’m so in”.

Catra rolls her eyes, trying to act like her brain isn’t overloaded with extreme happiness, but the flush in her cheeks and the smile forming on her face wide enough to fill a canvas is enough to sell her out. “I suppose….”

“YAY!”

“BEST FRIEND SQUAD!!”

Adora hugs her from the side, and Catra thinks that she could get used to this.

THIRTEEN

Holding hands, they giggle like little kids as they race from Adora’s front garden down to the Forge quarry. Their legs are a little longer than they were when the two met, and Catra feels a lightness in her heart she always feels when Adora holds her hand. Not much has changed. Adora is a little bit taller than Catra now, and her legs are longer (more toned). Her hair, too, has grown out a little but she still insists on tying it into a ponytail almost every day worth that little poof in the front. They hold hands a lot, too. Like, even when they’re walking places without running. Catra supposes that it’s a best friend thing.

“Did you see her face?”

Adora snorts. “Yeah, she looked so mad!”

Catra feels her ribs aching from the laughter. “Do you think she’ll still love you though?”

Adora pumps her chest proudly. It is incredibly dorky (incredibly adorable). “She’s my sister. Glimmer loves me no matter what”.

“Even when you throw pillows at her when she’s napping?”

“Even then”.

“I think Glimmer likes Bow more than you”.

Catra is shoved. “That’s different and you know it”.

Humming in agreement, Catra considers it. Yes, it is different. Glimmer has a crush on Bow. She’d admitted it to them because they wouldn’t stop pestering her (it was so totally obvious) and then they’d asked to tell them everything. Glimmer was two years older, which made everything she had to say about love sort of… sort of…exciting? She remembers asking her how it felt. _‘You feel butterflies when they touch you and you want to be around them all the time’._ But that was how she felt with Adora, and Adora wasn’t her crush, so what was the difference? She wonders if there’s something bigger than those other signs that Glimmer had forgotten to mention.

She snaps out of her funk when Adora yells from across the quarry. “I found it!” Feeling the adrenaline rush, Catra clambers to the top of the rubble rock to join Adora in staring out across the nearest city. From the top of the ledge, which they were specifically told _not_ to climb up, they can see the various different buildings nestled into greenery. The daylight probably doesn’t do it justice, and Catra wonders what it would look like at night with the streetlamps illuminating the scene. She imagines gazing from this spot under the stars with Adora, hands intertwined, laughing about nothing in particular. She feels her stomach shake a little.

“We’ll live somewhere like that someday”. Adora is staring intensely at her, and it takes a moment for Catra’s brain to catch up.

“You and me, in a city?”

“Yeah. We’ll go to uni together, and live together, and do those newspaper crosswords together that Angella does.”

Catra looks away, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Adora pokes her cheeks. “What, you don’t want to do that with me?” She averts her gaze, her eyes trained downward. “Would you want to do all that with someone else, then?”

The snort that leaves Catra’s nose is a little ungraceful, so she makes up for it by voluntarily reaching out and taking Adora’s hands. Adora looks up at her shyly, and when their eyes meet Catra feels safe. Secure.

“I’d go anywhere if you were with me”.

“You look out for me and I look out for you Catra. I want it that way forever.’

“Forever is a long long time.” Catra shifts so that they’re even closer, their faces inches apart. They’re both lying on their sides, Catra on her right and Adora on her left, and Catra supposes this is what married adults do when they lie in their marriage beds and talk about their lives together. _But this is Adora you’re best friend_ she thinks to herself _not your…like, lover._ She smells lavender and jasmine. “You promise?”

Adora cups Catra’s hand onto her cheek. “I promise”.

Catra tells herself that’s it’s the cool breeze that’s making her cheeks burn. There’s no other reason they would do that.

-

When she and Adora are later scolded for disobeying the rules and staying out late, Catra voluntarily holds Adora’s hand again. It’s her way of offering her comfort (Adora hates being told off, she’s a sucker for rules) but she is surprised to find that when she glances over to the blonde girl, Adora looks anything but upset. Catra would go even further and say she looked…content.

-

The best friend squad is still a dorky name, but traipsing around in the city after school, Catra supposes her friends are still cool in their own way. Even if Glimmer has pink nail polish which directly clashes with Catra’s black, Bow has not stopped singing country roads in the last hour and Adora keeps bumping their shoulders together and looking immensely pleased with herself. She loves them. They love her. It feels weirdly surreal. Even though it’s been a year since she and Bow moved out here it feels simultaneously like just yesterday and forever ago.

“We should go see a movie or something”, Bow suggests, weaving in and out between the street poles., “seeing as it’s Friday night”.

Glimmer, right beside him (as always), quips up. “How about we have a movie night at our place instead?” She glances at Adora, and Catra notices a sort of unspoken signal pass between the two of them. “We can choose what we want to watch then and make snacks!”

Bow seems to not notice the weird exchange. “Sure, sounds good to me. Want to get the bus home then?”

As the other two walk in front, Catra falls into step with Adora. It’s not hard, because they walk at basically the same speed anyways and Adora always seems to want her there. “What was that about?”

The blonde blinks. “What was what?”

“You and Glimmer back there. What was all that psychic stuff about?”

Adora looks at her pensively for a moment before she wipes her face clean in favour of a grin. “Duh. Glimmer wants it to be at ours so she can make some excuse to go off with Bow at some point. _Alone_ ”. She nudges Catra’s arm.

Catra smiles devilishly. “And then I get you all to myself? Lucky me”.

Adora’s face burns. Catra leans in closer and gently whispers in Adora’s ear, ignoring how fast her own heart is beating (her heart always beats fast around Adora. For no reason). “Hey Adora, I’ll race you to the bus”.

-

FOURTEEN

Catra hated this. She hated waking up at 7am every day of the school week. She hated getting dressed into track clothes and having to tie back her long unruly hair. She hated having to cycle to school, due to the countryside street she lived on having no damn bus links, and go straight to the track to train with a team she didn’t want to be part of.

Adora had laughed at her misfortune. But it was Adora, so Catra didn’t mind. Adora could step on her and Catra wouldn’t mind. _Wait….was that weird?_

Catra shakes her head, thinking about how it had happened.

They’d been eating fries in their shared local park. They had been in their favorite spot on the swings (except this time they had sat on the same swing, squeezing into each other), giggling together about nothing in particular when Adora had asked the question. She’d had her blazer undone and her top shirt buttons loose, which had been doing stupid things to Catra’s brain. Adora did stupid things to Catra’s brain. But she didn’t know why.

“So why did you get called to the staff office today anyway? I thought things were going better this year with your focus”.

Catra had groaned, throwing her head dramatically in her arms and sighing heavily. Adora had giggled and leaned in closer so their sides were pressed solidly together (which had NOT made Catra’s entire face turn bright red causing her to keep her face in her arms, thank you).

“It was Lonnie. She…annoyed me”.

Peeking up, she had seen Adora look concerned, doing that lip-chew thing she always did when she was trying to figure something out. Trying to figure Catra out. “What did she do?”

Catra couldn’t tell her exactly what Lonnie had done. It revealed insecurities in an all too easy-to-see way. Adora was dense when it came to emotions, yeah, but saying you called a girl a bitch in front of your maths teacher because she had told you you looked gay….very obvious.

“I called her a bitch”.

“Why?”

“She looked at me funny. Why does Lonnie do anything?”

Adora snorts. It’s cute. “Y’know, Lonnie’s nice if you just give her a chance. I’m sure she doesn’t hate you at all, maybe you did something unintentionally to upset her”.

Catra’s temper flares. “What so it’s _my_ fault? Whose side are you even on?”

She glares at Adora, but seeing her face fall into a look of hurt quickly puts out the fire in the pit of Catra’s stomach. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay…”

“No it’s not. I just keep getting so angry at stupid things lately…I don’t know why”. She had looked away, ashamed of her quick temper, and focused her eyes on Adora’s keychain she’d given to Catra when they were twelve. It was a little worse for wear, but the cat charm still stood strong on her rucksack despite the odds.

Of course, she knew exactly why her emotions had been harder to control lately. But she wasn’t going to say it to the person that was causing the confusion in the first place. It’s not like it was totally Adora’s fault. They’d been friends forever, so when Catra started getting butterflies in her stomach when Adora touched her, feeling dizzy when she leaned in close and feeling unexplainably attracted to her when she released her hair from her usual ponytail Catra thought it was just normal best friend stuff. Because she and Adora were best friends, she’d never had a best friend before, and it wasn’t a crush like Glimmer had described that one time….right? She was fourteen. Weird stuff happened when you were fourteen (she’d seen it in the movies).

But then she’d started looking at the girls she saw in school. Pretty dark-skinned girls, girls with long blonde hair, girls with nose-rings and hoop earrings, girls with long legs and thick thighs and….girls. Catra had never really paid attention to anyone before, especially not boys, but she hadn’t even realized that girls were an option for her until she watched Blue is the Warmest Color on Netflix in secret. Girls could date girls. _She_ could date girls. And it was all so dumb! She didn’t have anything against being…gay. Her dads were gay. They were the best! But it felt wrong when she looked at girls, when she wanted them. She felt….creepy. Weird. Unsure of herself.

Did she want to date girls?

Whatever the feelings were, Catra had been forced to join track in order to avoid a three-day expulsion from school. Knowing George and Lance, that wouldn’t have gone down well, and so Catra is taking what she can get and damning her sanity apparently. Sure, ‘having an attitude’ got you places in the shows she watched and the Paramore songs she liked, but in real life it got you woken up by an early ass morning alarm.

When she gets to practice, she checks herself put in the mirror when no one’s looking. The baby fat has fallen off her face in last few years, leaving slender cheekbones and a sharp jawline. Her hair is curly as ever, and just as frizzy. Her eyes are still two different colors, because miracles don’t happen and they’re never going to be the same (even though Adora insists they’re the coolest thing ever). Sighing, she scrapes back the curly and ponytails it in place. She checks her phone in the changing room. There’s a new text from Adora.

**_Adora_ **

****

Hey, good luck today!! Just be yourself and everyone will love you as much as I do.

**_Catra_ **

****

Thanks…. I’ll try my best for you.

**_Adora_ **

****

You should try your best for yourself, you might be really good at running! You always beat me ;)

Catra feels her cheeks heat up as she stares at Adora’s message. This girl….this girl has no idea how fast she makes Catra’s heart race.

**_Catra_ **

****

Okay dork, I’ll try my best for me too.

**_Adora_ **

****

Yay! That’s my best friend!

Catra quickly puts her phone away before the texting makes her hyperventilate and throw up. Adora is right. They are best friends, have been and always will be, and Catra’s dumb feelings aren’t going to change that.

She starts changing, and happens to notice the other track team girls on the other side of the room. They’re all standing around talking, some of them in just their bras and underwear. Catra can’t help but stare a little, and then feels extreme guilt crash her like a tidal wave. Tearing her gaze away and ignoring them, she finishes changing and marches out of the changing rooms towards the track alone, not bothering to introduce herself to any of them. They’re probably all snobby and popular. She kind of feels jealous of them, wants to be them, but decides that that’s just as dumb as all her other feelings. Her face is on fire and her heart rate hasn’t gone down. She hears the voices (‘what’s her problem?’/’Is she the new girl?’/’God I hope she isn’t a bitch’”).

She tries not to care.

-

When it turns out she’s good at track, they warm up to her. Catra hopes they don’t suspect, but sometimes she thinks the trees suspect, the clouds suspect the toaster in her kitchen suspects. Sometimes she wonders if she should tell Adora about her thoughts, but decides against it time after time. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Adora (she’s never trusted anyone as much as Adora) but it’s…hard to tell someone something and explain how you feel when you don’t even fully understand it yourself.

She runs over to the track for her third practice. It’s a Wednesday morning in March and the air is slightly chilly. Her eye bags feel like they are eternally etched onto her face. However, she finally thinks she’s learned the names of every single member, which is a first for her. Their names are all so..weird? Scorpia, Perfuma, Mermista and Netossa. But they’re nice enough, and no one asks too many questions and that’s all Catra could ask for.

When Catra finds herself staring at Netossa during sprint training, Catra tells herself that it’s out of admiration and not because Netossa has really nice legs and a totally awesome haircut.

She’s allowed to admire girls. That’s not gay, right?

She’s not gay, right?

-

“Catra, hey!”

Adora is suddenly all up in her face, blonde hair shiny and perfect, blue eyes sparkling with affection. Catra feels a smile form on her face despite herself.

“Hey to you too, dummy”.

Adora’s hands are suddenly in hers and their faces are inches apart. The contact, although familiar, makes Catra feel dizzy.

“Come over to mine after school”.

“I always come over to yours after school”.

“But this time it’s Glimmer’s birthday! Angella is having a party for her. I want you there”.

Catra snorts, removing her hands from Adora’s and returning to the suddenly very important task of searching for her science textbook. “We both know Sparkles doesn’t want me there on her special family day, and besides Angella was probably thinking a small gathering, right?”

Adora pouts with disappointment and moves in closer. From this angle Catra could oh so easily lean up and kiss her.

But she won’t do that. That’s silly.

“Glimmer hates it when you call her that, but she doesn’t hate you. Best friend squad members are automatically invited. Angella said family, yeah, but you are family. So you’re coming, right?”

Sighing, Catra retrieves her GCSE Science textbook single handedly because she doesn’t want both hands to be freed from Adora (she never wants her hands to let go of Adora’s) and allows a grin to break onto her face. Adora’s persistence is adorable, and Catra is weak for it. “Okay, I’ll come. I’ll even buy Glimmer a gift if it’ll make her happy or whatever”.

She notices that even in her attempt to sound casual and nonchalant, her affection for Adora is obvious.

“No need, I got one and I’ll say it was from both of us. Wanna see?”

Dropping her schoolbag on the floor, Adora crouches and roots around for something inside it. Standing proudly, she brandishes an eye shadow set with the most glittery shades Catra could imagine existing.

“Why would you say it was from both of us?”

“I knew she’d like it. I know you’re saving up for your new bike but I also know you care. So it’s from both of us this time”. The way she smiles, so pleased with herself, makes Catra’s heart flutter. Didn’t…didn’t _couples_ give joint gifts?

“Adora that’s sweet but I’ll pay you back for half of it. Okay?”.

Gently smiling, Adora takes Catra’s hand again and nods. “Okay, but only if you want. I…”, she looks down and Catra swears she sees a faint red on the girl’s cheeks, “I just really want you to come”.

-

Glimmer ends up loving the gift, and gives Catra and Adora both a huge hug. The party is pretty low-key. Her, Adora, Bow and (of course) Glimmer are the only kids there and they just mainly hang out and drink lemonade. It all makes sense when Glimmer explains that her real sweet sixteenth is going to be on the roller-skating rink with her classmates in the city. But hanging out with them all, eating cake with their hands off the platter, Catra feels surrounded by people who do care about her, and it feels nice. She suspects Glimmer secretly likes the more low-key stuff. And besides, their best friend squad is as tight as ever, even with Bow and Glimmer constantly making it obvious that they like each other and the other not picking up on it.

It’s a little bit painful, if Catra’s honest. She thinks that if someone hinted they liked her, she’d pick up on it easy.

-

They end up sleeping over at Adora’s. Bow and Catra sprawl out on Glimmer’s bedroom floor, Adora takes one side of Glimmer’s pink double bed and Glimmer the other. But thoughts about….certain things, are keeping Catra awake.

Shifting quietly so that no one will wake, she pads quietly over to the window and sits on the ledge.

Adora is by her side within minutes. _Does Adora ever sleep?_

“Aren’t you tired?” Her voice is hushed and her blue eyes are pale blue in the moonlight.

“I was just thinking”

“About?”

Catra swallows. “I don’t know. School. Track”. She shifts her eyes to the floor. “You”.

Adora moves in closer. Their bodies press together in a soft harmony and Catra casually laces their fingers together. Because it’s something Adora does all the time. It’s their thing.

“What were you thinkin’ about me?”

“That you’re my best friend”. She feels a little vulnerable, admitting it out loud.

“You’re my best friend too, Catra”. Adora strokes small circles onto Catra’s thumb and leans her head to rest against the brunette’s shoulder. Neither of them means to fall asleep. The window ledge is hard and cold and rigid. But as Catra and Adora synch their breaths together, warmth passes between them that lulls the sleep all too easily over them both.

-

Sleepovers become their thing.

Originally, Adora suggests that it be just her and Catra’s thing, but something about spending a night alone with Adora and talking about life past 2am sends Catra’s nervous system into shutdown mode. She tries to convince Adora that Bow and Glimmer will feel left out.

But Adora always gets her way.

She stays over at Catra’s almost every week now for at least one night. All it takes is a phone call, Catra or Adora being lonely, and a quick walk to the other’s house in her pajama’s in order to sleep in the same bed and tell each other secrets.

Catra secretly likes it more than she’d care to admit.

She also buys a jasmine scented candle, which she lights especially when Adora comes around. And it’s definitely NOT because George told her Jasmine makes your loved ones reveal secrets. She knows that’s batshit, okay?

But she really wants to know Adora’s secrets.

-

FIFTEEN

It turns out Catra is really good at running. And not just at running on the track field either.

Her relationship with the team started out a little rocky, but as soon as she let her guard down a little and started trying her hardest to be…more open, they welcomed her easily. Although none of them were supposed to have favorites (team spirit and all that) Catra secretly considered Scorpia and Entrapta her best friends. Turns out building friendships wasn’t as hard as Catra had thought it to be when she was younger. A year of track and she felt like she was running with her second family.

Well, third family. The best friend squad (namely, Adora) was her second family But Catra couldn’t stop thinking about Adora in a very non-best-friend way, and so she had begun to not count her as a friend but more as a….

A crush. She had a crush on Adora. There was no getting around it, no denying it and no mind control she could exert on herself that would fix it. She had come to be at peace with it, because at the end of the day a crush didn’t have to change anything, right? They were always there for each other, they had _promised,_ and that was enough.

“Catra! Over here!”

Spotting Scorpia, Entrapta, Mermista and Perfuma, Catra jogs over to join her fellow track teammates. It’s mid-October, and the morning breeze is cool on her skin.

Scorpia launches into conversation as soon as Catra sits down into the stretching circle. “We’re having a party on Saturday wild cat, you coming?”

“Sure, is it like a new term thing?”

Entrapta chimes in enthusiastically. “Yeah! There’s gonna be food, cake, board games, _video games_ ”

“-And alcohol, because otherwise it would be lame”. Mermista rolls her eyes at the excited party chatter, but gives Catra a soft grin. “It’ll be fun. Plus….other people from school will be there”.

Catra grins devilishly. “Seahawk?”

Mermista’s face flares up. “No! Dude not everything is about him!”

“What’s that?” The others stare intently at Mermista who is now blushing all the shades of crimson.

“Nothing…”

“Her ex-boyfriend is gonna be there”

“Kitty you’ve got to stop pushing everyone’s buttons!” Scorpia giggles. Everyone in the circle follows suit, and Catra feels a sense of belonging as she, too, joins in on the laughter.

-

The party is fun. Catra is having fun. Her vision is a little blurry, but she’s not drunk, okay? She’s _tipsy_.

The songs that are playing are good, the people are all super-friendly, and the party drinking games are all super fun. The only thing that’s missing is Adora. Catra knows for a fact she would be enjoying herself so much more if Adora were here.

Stumbling upstairs she wanders around the house a little, feeling a bit guilty for her nosiness but unable to stop herself. Netossa’s house is much bigger than hers, and she lives in the city where they go to school so the entire vibe is totally new. The walls are lined with baby pictures, mirrors and paintings. It’s cute and cozy. At the end of the hallway, she spots something hung up next to a what must have been recent family photo. Netossa’s parents are hugging her on either side, and there is a rainbow flag pinned next to the picture.

Isn’t that…wasn’t that the pride flag?

She feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around. Lonnie swims into view, earning a disapproving growl from Catra.

“Hey kitty”.

“You can’t call me”, Catra tries her hardest not to slur her words, but it’s extremely difficult, “can’t call me GAY and then call me kitty Lonnie that’s weird”.

Lonnie sports her trademark ‘I-know-everything’ smirk. It pisses Catra off.

“But you are gay”

“Piss OFF”

“So am I”.

Catra blinks. _What?_

“Come with me”. And suddenly she’s being led through the house party, a cacophony of drunk teens and the smell of beer and loud sounds of shouting and talking. It’s noisy, so noisy, and Catra is being led _by a girl_ into what appears to be a…closet?

She doesn’t know who moves first, but suddenly they’re kissing. Catra feels every nerve in her body light up as if on fire, sending heat signals to every bone in her body. Kissing a girl feels so right. Kissing a girl with soft lips and soft hair who smells nice feels right.

And it’s not until Lonnie starts kissing down the side of Catra’s neck does she realize fully what’s happening. A sigh slips out of her throat, because despite everything it feels good. She lets herself enjoy it, just as little, and when their lips meet for the second time she brings her hands up to rest in Lonnie’s hair. Their bodies slot together, and it feels nice. Kissing a girl feels right. _I wish it was you_ she thinks of Adora, her blonde hair, her blue eyes, her warm smile, _I want to kiss you._ She gently pushes the Lonnie off of her.

“Ihavetogo”

Lonnie chews her lip. “Did I go too far? I’m sorry-“

“It’s fine I just….Ineedtogo”

“Wait”.

Catra turns around and Lonnie looks small in the shadowy closet light. Her face looks, pleading? Nothing like the girl who accused of being gay a year ago.

“Don’t tell anyone, please?”

Despite everything, despite having a silent mental breakdown in her head and despite wanting to kiss Lonnie more just to see what it feels like again, Catra manages a small smile.

“I won’t. I promise”.

-

Running out of the party, Catra checks her phone through her tears. Her head is spinning and spinning so her vision isn’t exactly doing her any favors, but she manages to dial Adora’s number before the screen is too blurred.

After two rings, she picks up.

“Catra, what’s up?”

Catra can’t quite find her words, but she tries to speak. A sob escapes her throat instead.

“Hey…hey what’s wrong?”

“Can you…can you meet me in the park? On the swings?”

She can hear a rustling down the line. It’s probably Adora getting out of bed (Catra shouldn’t have called her, it’s some ridiculous time like 1am and Adora goes to bed early as heck).

“I’ll be there. How long are you going to be? Are you okay to cycle by yourself?”

Relief washes over her like warm water. “Yeah…I’ll be fine. I’ll stay on the country lane out of the road”.

-

When she gets to their spot, Adora is already there. She is sitting on a blanket she must have brought outside for the both of them and is wrapped up in her cutest pink scarf and earmuffs. The street lamp just above the fence illuminates her blonde hair with an orange glow, giving her a small halo. _Because she’s an angel._

Hearing her footsteps, Adora looks up. Her eyes are so blue. _I want to swim in your eyes. I want to kiss you. I want to kiss every girl I see because I’m so GAY-_

“Catra…what’s wrong?” Adora pats the empts space next to her, and Catra sinks down slowly. The blonde wraps her arms around her and Catra lets the tears fall, her body wracking itself with sob after sob until eventually, she feels the heat in her eyes simmer down and her breathing return to normal.

“I don’t want you to hate me”.

“I’m never going to hate you, you’re my best friend”.

Catra looks up and meets Adora’s eyes head on. They still make her chest clench, her stomach flutter. “I’m not…I’m _creepy_.”

“You’re not creepy. You’re Catra. I love Catra”. Adora strokes her cheek softly.

“I kissed a girl”.

Adora blinks once. Twice.

Catra flinches away. Adora grabs her shoulders. “No, wait, I didn’t mean-“

“You think I’m disgusting”.

“No! Never!”. Adora steels her grip on Catra’s shoulders even though she struggles to get free. “Catra, just tell me what you’re thinking. I’m _never_ going to think you’re disgusting. I care about you”.

Sighing, she lets herself melt into Adora’s arms again, and this time she doesn’t resist. “I’m really gay, Adora”.

Adora giggles softly. “I’m glad you told me. And….”

“And what?”

“I’m so proud of you.” She places a gentle kiss to the top of Catra’s curly head, and Catra thinks maybe, just maybe, everything is going to be okay.

-

Adora’s favorite band comes to town just before her sixteenth birthday, and Catra secures tickets just to surprise her. They’re not cheap, and it sets her back quite a lot in terms of her little savings stash, but she knows it’ll be worth it to see Adora’s cute face light up with joy. When that joy is directed at Catra, Catra feels invincible, ineffable, indestructible.

So when Adora’s birthday rolls around, she asks her to meet her at the bus stop earlier than usual (not at all because she knows no one else will be there and they can be completely alone).

She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous.

“Catra! Hey!” Blonde hair sways in the sunlight. Long legs, rolled up skirt and shiny shoes race towards the bus stop, and when Adora is within reaching distance their hands interlock. Catra can’t help but smile softly at her. _Because you’re disgusting. Because you’re in loooove._

“I got you these”, she picks the tickets out of her pocket, and handing them over in an envelope she spent hours decorating. Adora’s face fills with curiosity. “What is it?”

“Open it and find out?”

She watches as Adora tears the envelope carefully and reaches in. When she sees the contents, her eyes start to rim with red. “Oh my god….”

Catra feels her pulse quicken. Her mind starts to race.

“Do you…do you like them?”

When Adora meets her eyes, Catra feels winded. She looks beyond happy. She looks euphoric.

“Catra…I don’t even know what to say. _Thank you!_ Thank you thank you thank you-“

Catra reaches out and puts a finger over Adora’s lips. They seal immediately. “Happy birthday, Adora”. She chews her lip, not sure if she should follow through, but the rest of her plan has gone so well (and nobody’s looking) so she leans in and kisses Adora n the cheek. “You’re still my best friend”.

Adora flushes very _very_ bright red. “You’re always gonna be my best friend, Cat. You’ll go with me to the concert, right?”

“I can do. If you want to take Glimmer or Angella though I don’t mind, they’re your tickets”.

Adora grins incredulously. “You seriously think I’d take anyone other than you?”

-

SIXTEEN

Laughing with Adora on the swing set makes Catra so happy. It’s like when they first met, but Catra feels so _herself_ when she’s with Adora. Adora knows everything about her. Almost everything. And she’s certain she knows everything about Adora too. They’re listening to Adora’s ‘Catradora’ playlist she made on Spotify. She merged their names seeing as it’s their park playlist. Catra insisted on adding some Blink-182 and The Vaccines songs (even though they’re not Adora’s favorites) and Adora insisted on adding some Ed Sheeran and Panic! At the Disco (even though they’re not Catra’s favorites). However, the playlist is still good, Catra thinks, because it exudes their energy. It makes her think of them. Their own universe of lyrics and instruments and bad dance moves and laughter that mean the whole world to her.

When ‘Country Roads’ comes on, Adora’s face lights up with unabashed glee. Grabbing Catra and almost losing her side of the ear bud in the process, she begins to swing them around in circles. Her singing is awful (Adora is totally tone deaf) but when Catra joins in she thinks they sound perfect together. Adora is perfect.

“County roads, take me home,

to the place, I belong….

WEST VIRGINIAAAAA”.

-

“Want to hear a secret?”

Catra rolls her eyes. Adora leans in close so that her lips are close to Catra’s ear. It doesn’t make her insides collapse at all. “Lonnie told me she had a crush on you”.

Catra blinks and then giggles. “She does?!”

Adora grins. “Yeah, I know! You two should go out…I mean, you like her right?”

In the back of their shared form room, Catra resists the urge to face palm. Adora’s obliviousness is cute sometimes but this…this is _ridiculous._

“No I don’t. She’s nice enough but she’s not my type”.

Adora leans in closer. “Who is your type?”

Catra chews her lip. _You_ she thinks _you’re my type._

“I guess girls who like the same music as me.” Adora grins devilishly and, when the teacher isn’t looking, scribbles a note on her opened school planner. When she’s done, she carefully rips the defiled paper and slides it to Catra, who takes it dubiously.

The note reads ‘Country roads, take me home, to the place I BELONNGGG’.

Adora is promptly kicked under the table. Barely suppressing their giggles, Adora presses her foot against Catra’s, and they stay joined together like that until the end of class. Catra tries her best not to take it too out of context. She knows it’s bad to get your hopes up.

“Sleep over later?”

“Sure”.

When no one’s looking, Adora leans in and kisses Catra on the cheek. Even though Catra did it first, when they were fifteen, Adora has taken it to be her thing now. She does it all the time whenever she’s feeling particularly clingy, but Catra secretly likes it. She wishes it meant what she meant when she did it, but having Adora’s lips on her cheek is still…so good.

-

Glimmer flips back onto her bed dramatically. “I seriously can’t take it anymore Cat, you’re driving me _crazy_!”

Catra pouts. “But you live with Adora. You must know”.

Glimmer rolls onto her side to face Catra. They’re in her extremely pink and sparkly room. Adora (as class rep like the people-pleaser she is) was holding a school council meeting; Catra had used her free time in order to interrogate Sparkles. Seeing as she’s the second oldest (excluding best friend squad leader Bow) Catra deems her the vial of wisdom she needs right now.

“Just because I live with Adora doesn’t mean I know who she likes. However,” she narrows her eyes spitefully, “I know who likes _her_ ”. Catra sticks her tongue out. Glimmer may be one of the only people Catra has ever confided her true feelings for Adora to, but it doesn’t change the fact that Glimmer’s advice is totally useless.

“It’s all good for you sparkles, you and Bow have been dating for what, a year now? He totally loves you. I wish I was eighteen”. She flings herself onto the pink carpet. “I just…I need to know before it’s too late”. She casts her eyes downward, feeling the gnawing in her stomach. “I need to know before I get hurt”.

This time, Glimmer looks sympathetic. “Look, Catra, she obviously cares about you. She never shuts up about you. It’s kind of annoying actually”.

“So?”

“So even if you tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way, she’s never going to leave you.”

Catra sniffs in self-pity. “Maybe”.

-

“Adora, who do you like?”

“I’ve never liked anyone as much as you”.

“I mean who do you _like_ like.”

Adora pauses chewing her lip. It’s early morning, and they’ve stayed up all night talking (like always). There’s no light except for the pale white shimmer of moonlit sky breaking in through the window. They are both illuminated in its glow. “You couldn’t guess?”

“Why do you think I’m asking?”

Adora sighs and turns onto her back, moving away from Catra’s face. “Never mind. No one. I like no one.”

Catra wrinkles her nose in confusion, but doesn’t push it.

-

SEVENTEEN

Catra’s first big race is a cross country one. Her dads, Bow, Glimmer and Adora have taken kind liberties of making the most dramatic ‘Go Catra!’ sign Catra could ever imagine. The school field is filled with other competitors from nearby schools, as well as Scorpia and Entrapta who are also running, so having them yelling is cramping her style just a little.

She face palms when Adora wolf whistles particularly loudly, her cheeks on fire.

Scorpia is smirking. “Is that the infamous Adora?”

“No”.

“It so totally is! I can tell by the way you look at her you sap! Awww, wildcat are you embarrassed?”

Scorpia gets shoved. Entrapta, however, isn’t done. “This is a great social experiment. How long will it take for Catra to realize she’s in lo-“

“If you guys don’t drop it I’ll overlap both of you twice”.

Scorpia smiles apologetically, although Catra suspects this isn’t the end of it. “Got you, kitty, we’ll be quiet”, she pauses, “for _now_ ”.

Entrapta laughs a little bit maniacally. ‘It’s so obvious! You’re obvious”.

Catra sticks her nose in the air, and pretends she doesn’t have feelings.

-

When Catra comes 23rd out of 200 students, Adora picks her up and spins her around in one of the showiest displays of affection Catra has ever experienced. When she’s lifted down, she is met with intense blazing blue eyes and a beautiful, beautiful smile. Adora brings their foreheads together so they meet gently. “Catra you were _amazing_ ”.

Cheeks flushing with embarrassment and…something else, Catra casts her eyes downward, kicking the grass with her trainer. “I wasn’t that good”.

“Don’t be so dumb, you were incredible.” She lowers her voice even more, leaning in so they are centimeters apart. “I think you’re incredible”.

Catra has to fight so hard not to close the gap between them. When Bow and Glimmer throw themselves on top of the two in a ‘group hug’ she feels immense relief. But…Adora had been looking at her in a way that Catra hadn’t exactly seen before. Her eyes almost definitely had darted down to Catra’s lips, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything, right?

Right?

-

Glimmer asks Bow, Adora and Catra to her end of year prom. The school has allowed a maximum of four guests each, and she’s determined to have one last ‘best friends squad’ hangout before she starts uni. She asks Bow as her date though, obviously. Catra and Adora are what she calls the ‘collateral damage’. (Glimmer, like Catra, is bad at admitting she cares about people).

Which is why Catra is super impressed when Glimmer asks her for help with her ‘promposal’ to bow. It’s nothing too cheesy, just a little song she’s taught herself on Catra’s old ukulele that Catra very kindly let her borrow. Bow, however, claims it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

Safe to say that when Adora asks Catra as they’re waiting for the bus home from school, Catra is neither surprised nor does she even attempt to pin hope on the idea that maybe, just _maybe,_ Adora wanted to go with her because she liked her like that. They were already going, and Adora wasn’t exactly going to make a big deal out of it.

“So?” The bus is crowded. There’s so much noise, but Adora slips her hand into Catra’s and suddenly the noise isn’t so loud anymore.

She lets herself smile. “Who else would I go with?”

-

Prom is packed. No one Catra knows is there apart from Mermista and Seahawk (but who is she to ask questions?) and Adora…Adora looks like a goddess.

Okay, that’s totally dramatic but Catra swears she’s never seen her look more beautiful. Her dress is long and white, gold strips accenting her curves and shoulders, with a matching tiara to tie the look together. Her cheeks are dusted with pink blush and her eyes are lined loosely with eyeliner. She smells like lavender and home-baked bread. Catra wants to kiss her.

Catra herself can’t say she looks too bad either. Her suit doesn’t match Adora’s because that’s what couples do and they aren’t dating. It’s a maroon dress-suit thing she found in a charity shop tie and all. Her hair is ponytailed and brushed (for once) to impress Adora and she feels good. The atmosphere, with her upperclassmen buying drinks, dancing and having fun, feels good. Glimmer and bow wandered off a while ago to secure drinks but have yet to return.

Adora is close to her, as always. “Wanna dance?”

“You’re on, Princess”.

Grabbing Catra’s hand, Adora leads her onto the dance floor. The music is slow, and Catra places her arms on Adora’s waist as she’s seen men do in all those stupid romantic movies she has totally never watched when she was lonely at night and thinking about how much she wanted to kiss Adora. They move together perfectly. Everything about them fits. Looking up, blue eyes meet yellow and teal. Electricity fills the air and Catra swears she can’t breathe.

_Fuck it, this is my time._

She dips Adora when the song ends, her leg slotting in between hers, and Adora’s face burns red. And there’s a moment where Catra thinks that she isn’t alone. Adora….she blushed? _She asked you to prom! She hasn’t left your side all night! She touches you all the time and tells you she doesn’t like anyone but you and…_

But Adora didn’t mean it that way, right?

Right?

Realising Adora is still dipped, and that there are definite onlookers, Catra pulls the blonde up and spins her around, effectively ending the dance and also her thoughts. She’s tired of questioning. Now, she decides, she’s all about acting. Dragging Adora by the arm, she leads her to what she thinks is the emptiest possible part of the venue, the entry hall which is populated by only a few stray coast and a ditched umbrella.

“Catra what are you-“

“What would you say if I told you something crazy?”

“I’d say tell me more”.

They both giggle a little. Catra bites her lip (she’s not flirting, okay? This is just how she is). “You’re my favorite person in the whole world.”

Adora’s hands on her cheeks. Their foreheads are pressed together. The world is on tenterhooks. “You’re mine too, Catra”.

“Do you remember that promise we made when we were kids?”

“Definitely. That’s why we’re both going to Bright Moon”.

Catra clears her throat. She knows she shouldn’t be nervous but she is. “I wanted to ask if you meant what you said in….”, she pauses and fiddles with her hair, “in the way I think about it”.

When there’s not an immediate answer, she glances up. Adora is chewing her lip, looking like she’s about to say something important. She seems to decide against whatever it is, replacing the strange look with her trademark Adora smile. “How do _you_ think about it?”

“I think that I want to be with you all the time”

“Me too”

“I think that I want to make you happy”

“Same”

“I think that I want to spend my life with you”

Adora’s eyes are soft. Catra’s heart aches.

“Me too, Cat”.

She doesn’t realize how long they stare into each other’s eyes for until she realizes it’s been a really long time. Adora isn’t breathing. Catra isn’t breathing.

“I want you to tell me something, Catra”

“Okay”

“Would you kiss me if I asked you to?”

Breathe. Catra needs to breathe (where’s all that air when you need it?). “Yes”.

Hands on cheeks. Eyes meet. Their breaths are so close Catra can feel Adora’s huffs on her skin. Everything is tingling. She’s hot and cold all over.

When they kiss, she feels flames encircling her heart.

It’s not perfect. Catra’s only ever kissed one person, and she’s pretty sure Adora’s never kissed anyone (although so many boys have lusted after her). Their teeth clack several times, their noses bump repeatedly and when Adora opens her mouth Catra slides her tongue in, causing an embarrassingly loud sigh to come from both of them.

But when Catra sucks on Adora’s lips, she feels the stars align, the planets align. _This is what it feels like_ she thinks _to kiss your soul mate._

-

EIGHTEEN

Adora is avoiding her. Catra knows she is.

It started out small. Adora not wanting to do sleepovers anymore. _‘We’re too old for that stuff now, and we’re gonna live together anyway soon, so what’s the point?’_

Catra had seen ALL the point, but didn’t want to show how much something as small as a sleepover meant to her so she had shrugged it off. But then Adora had started hanging out with Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio after school, started taking a long ass time to reply to Catra’s texts and generally avoiding her whenever it was a possibility. And Catra had a lot of pride but it was getting really hard to pretend that this didn’t hurt her feelings. Like, a lot.

(She may have cried over the whole thing a few times, and then scolded herself afterwards because rally, nothing had changed. Adora was still Adora. When they were actually together hanging out everything thing seemed totally normal. She was overreacting).

Catra sits at the park, her fellow swing empty.

She’s waiting.

-

Eventually, Adora shows. She’s ten minutes late, totally unlike Adora, and her eyes are rimmed red slightly. Catra realizes it looks like she’s been. Crying?

“Hey, Adora”.

The blonde girl smiles weakly, but as she places her schoolbag on the ground and slumps onto the swing, something is obviously wrong.

“Adora…did I do something?”

She looks up. Her blue eyes say it all.

“No, you didn’t do anything Catra, we’re fine”.

Catra kicks the dirt beneath her feet. “Don’t lie”.

“I’m not lying”.

“You are”.

“I’m not”.

“STOP IT!” Catra stands up, realizing this was a mistake. Her eyes are stinging with tears and she feels her body starting to give up on her façade. Adora makes her feel so intensely, and she _knows_ she is being lied to.

“…If you don’t want to be mine anymore, piss off”.

She grabs her bag and walks away.

Adora doesn’t follow.

-

In the week that follows, Catra refuses to get the bus to school. She rides her bike every day, avoids Adora in all her classes, and asks Mermista if she can third-wheel her and Seahawk at lunch (a tragic miscalculation, as even though Mermista is ‘too cool’ for PDA it’s all over her face and it makes Catra’s heart ache). She glances around to see if Adora is anywhere, but can’t spot the blonde ponytail in sight.

She worries.

She shakes her head. Adora doesn’t want her anymore. _Adora doesn’t need you anymore._

But all those things she said, all those things she did, she had definitely meant them. Catra was sure she had meant them. Adora wasn’t one to fake anything or lie or pretend. That was one of Catra’s favorite things about her. So what was she missing? What had Catra done?

She cries in several toilet stalls throughout the day.

It isn’t until a Saturday evening that Bow picks up on something being wrong. He’s moved out, gone off to uni with Glimmer in tow to do professional archery, and Catra misses him more than anything. However, he’s still annoyingly perceptive, even when he’s not in touching distance.

Apparently, he misses her too, because even over face time he’s trying to be her third dad. “Just talk to her, Catra”.

“She doesn’t want me to talk to her. She’s making that very clear”.

Bow holds a hand to his face, sighing. “Yes, but you don’t know why. I think finding out why is very important”.

“What’s the point? I obviously just care about her more than she cares about me”. Crap. She doesn’t mean for her voice to break that way. She doesn’t mean for the tears to start falling. Catra has never cried so much over such a short period of time in her life…it’s getting a little pathetic.

“Catra”, Bow’s voice is stern and gentle, “I know you’re upset. I would be too. Glimmer would be too. But I think there’s something more going on that you’re not quite getting, so I think you need to talk to her.”

Catra sniffs. “And if it goes badly?”

Bow smiles. “It won’t”.

Nodding, she asks Bow about uni He tells her about his new friends, Glimmer’s obsession with the campus café, his dorm room. Catra listens, letting him talk. He makes her feel a little smaller, but in a really good way. The world Bow is living in is bigger than hers, and maybe, she thinks, that world will be kind to her too, even if Adora doesn’t feel like it anymore.

-

She breathes in, and knocks on the door. She’s timed it perfectly too (Catra knows Angella has a shift on Sunday at 2pm, so it’s only Adora home). She clutches the wicker basket in her hand and waits.

The door opens slowly. Adora stands apprehensively in the doorway, still in her dressing gown despite it being mid-afternoon. _That’s not like her._

Catra doesn’t speak. Doesn’t need to. She hands the basket over, and Adora gingerly accepts. “What is it?”

“It’s an apology basket. Look I don’t know what I did but…” Catra feels the tears coming already and tries desperately to keep her voice from cracking, “I never wanted to hurt you. Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”

She hears a sob. Looking up, Catra sees Adora’s blue eyes filled with tears. She turns around to head back inside, but she leaves the door open for Catra to follow so she does, shutting it behind her.

-

Adora chews her lip. “You scare me, Catra”. They’re sitting on Adora’s living room sofa. Catra is noticeably within touching distance, but also noticeably not anywhere near as close as she would like to be.

Catra feels her face heat up. She doesn’t mean for “I need you” to come out of her lips but there it goes, hanging out there in the open in the most embarrassing way possible.

“What?”

Adora is staring at her with a determined look in her eyes. Catra shakes her head. “Nothing. That was dumb I’m sorry”.

“You scare me because I need you, too. I’m scared because”, her voice cracks a little, “I don’t think I could handle loosing you”. She stands, starting to pace the room. “I know when you kissed me at Glimmer’s prom you meant it. I meant it too. I know you have the best intentions, and I do too. But part of me…part of me wonders if something will go wrong. If we date, what happens when we break up? Will you hate me? Will I hate me?”

“Who says we’re gonna break up, like. Ever?’

Adora turns to face her. Even though she is taller than Catra, has been since they were thirteen, she looks incredibly small. She swallows.

“I’m scared you don’t feel as strongly as me”.

Catra stands, reaching for Adora’s hands, but Adora is hesitant to join them together.

“Adora, I’ve been in love with you pretty much since we met. It’s scary; _I’m_ scared, because you have this stupid power over me. But I’m…” she pauses, taking a breath, “I’m in love with you”.

Adora blinks once. Twice. “Really?”

Catra blinks once. Twice. “Yeah. Yeah I really am”.

And suddenly the room is too hot and Catra is dizzy, her heart overriding her body and beating so fast. “Damn it I shouldn’t have said that I’m sorry we’re not even dating oh my god-!”

Adora stands up too. Her arms are rigid by her sides and she looks a little bit miffed. “Why not? Haven’t I made it obvious enough by now? Haven’t you guessed? God, I can’t believe you’re so _dense_ Catra!” she laughs, “You’re supposed to be my best friend. You’re supposed to know everything about me”.

Frustration is building in Catra’s mind. Her vision is getting blurry, and she realizes it’s because there are tears forming there. “I do know everything about you! Guessed _what?_ Guessed what Adora?”

“I LOVE YOU TOO”. Happiness radiates from Adora’s face, from the way her eyes shine to the way her smile holds the sun to the way her fingers are splayed apart in freedom. She smiles a little gingerly, the outburst of affection slightly awkwardly executed. “I’ve always loved you, too”.

Heaving, her chest can’t recover from the words that just came put of Adora’s mouth. Her mind races, her heart pounds and Adora is killing everything she is trying to think. “You…you like me? Like I like you?”

Adora’s body slacks a little. “Let’s just say if I had a dream about my perfect future, we’d be married and I’d make you do crosswords with me every. Single. Morning”.

“I’m in love with you, dummy”.

-

When they kiss at midnight, Catra finally understands all the hype about it. She’s read all about kissing in romance books, seen all the cheesy speeches about love in the movies, felt a girls’ lips on hers before, even, but nothing was the same as when Adora kissed her. And heck, this wasn’t even their first kiss. But it felt just as good as the first time. _Better._ Her lips were so soft and her smell of lavender snaked its way into Catra’s nostrils. Her hands locked themselves into Adora’s ponytail, tugging the hairband out and releasing the golden waves, which made great threading for Catra’s impatient fingers. When Adora opened her moth slightly, their tongues met and Catra belly was on fire.

Pulling away for air, their eyes meet and Catra remembers the first time they met Adora’s eyes had shined then, just as they were shining right here, right now.

“I love you”. She was trying it again, just for size.

“I love you, too”.

-

A chilly winter night, legs entwined, blankets tossed aside. Fingers in hair, kisses on ears, breathless laughter.

“Adora”

“Catra”

“Here”

“There?”

Chests heaving, together, backs arched. Motions that kill everything Catra is trying to think.

_I want to stay like this with you forever. I never want you to feel this way about anyone else._

_I want to join our souls, tie them with red string. I want you to moan like that again and again and again._

_I love you I love you I love you I love you._

EIGHTEEN

“And you took, like five years to confess to each other even though it was so totally obvious!”

Glimmer is shoved in the side by Adora, but no remorse appears on her face. “It was cute though”. She flashes her sparkliest grin at Catra. “You guys are so cute”.

Catra snorts indignantly. “C’mon it wasn’t that dramatic.”

“Was too. Remember when you held hands all the time? And both of you thought it was _platonic?_ ”

This time Adora scoffs. “Friends do that! It wasn’t that weird!”

Bow nods his head, eyes closed in that infuriating all-knowing smirk. “I remember Catra saying when you held her hands it felt like you guys were, what was it? ‘Flame on flame-“

“Bow I swear to God that was our secret!!”

-

On a fresh spring day, the week before their final school term begins; Catra and Adora sit on the swings.

Not much has changed. The trees still bloom in all their glory, pink and white blossom looped over in crevices of blue sky, the sun is cautiously warm, bringing a tingly heat to their skin and singeing edges split-ended hairs. There are still not many other people around (Bow and Glimmer are off at uni, the other neighborhood kids are either too young to be there or have also moved out). If Catra closes her eyes and breathes in the soft summer air it almost feels like nothing at all has changed since she was twelve.

And yet so much has changed. She’s changed. She has friends: still not many, but enough to make her feel truly loved. She has her dads being ever supportive of who she is, she has the self-confidence she never thought she’d achieve and most importantly of all she has Adora.

Her Adora. Her _girlfriend_ Adora.

Adora who is sitting on her lap, despite there not really being much room. Adora who she’ll grow old with. Adora who still races her everywhere, despite them being obviously too old for it. Adora, who kisses her hands when they part ways like some kind of 18thcentury gentleman. Adora, whose body fits so perfectly with hers it is almost too good.

“This is where we met, Cat”.

“Yeah, it is”.

“Where you told me you were a lesbian”.

“That was so embarrassing, I was such a mess.”

Adora grins. “You were.”

Catra furrows her brow. “I never asked…but when did you know you were gay? Did you just…sort of know all along?”

She shrugs. “I never really had to think about it because I only ever really had a crush on you. I guess I am gay…. I mean…. _girls_ , right?” Catra snorts unattractively in agreement. “But it wasn’t this big thing that I figured out all in one go”.

“Adora, lean backwards”.

She abides, leaning so her back rests on Catra’s chest. Catra carefully slots their lips together. Kissing Adora never gets old. She’s aware that if anyone were to see this they’d gag at the PDA. But no one is here. And even if they were, she wouldn’t have given a shit.

Adora rests her head on the brunette’s shoulder, hair swaying in the breeze. There is no ponytail today (but for once, Catra’s is up).

“Country roads, take me home…”. Her voice is still off key.

“.to the place I belong, West Virgina, mountain momma!”.

_Take me home, country roads._

**Author's Note:**

> I love....I love my children. ;-;
> 
> I genuinely can't get over Catradora they are just the cutest lil beans and I wanna squish them both with hugs. 
> 
> Some notes about the fic if you're interested:
> 
> \- Adora's favourite band mentioned is 'First Aid Kit' bc I saw a few of their songs on Noelle's Adora playlist and honestly they fit her so perfectly in my mind.  
> \- If you don't know what Hammer Beads are they're basically these hollowed beads you make shapes with and iron down onto a special material surface to make shapes, they were popular in the UK when I was a kid and me and my best friend made them for each other but idk if they're still a thing?  
> \- In my head Bow and Glimmer make similar promises as kids just like Catra and Adore but obviously it happens out of the text  
> \- Catra also watched Isaak's season of SKAM and cried the whole way through it (and she secretly likes romance movies even though she refuses to admit it).
> 
> Lmao I'm getting so carried away I'm sorry but if you liked this I plan on writing more Catradora in the future so stick around if you're into that. Also lemme know what you think of this if you feel like it, I love hearing your feedback!
> 
> EDIT: I just made an art account on insta! I haven't posted that much on it yet but if you feel like giving it a follow it's @katthedoodlecatcher and i have some she-ra content on there already sooo...it's a thing! x
> 
> Have a wonderful day xx


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